House of the Crooked Path
Our Founder
We have no founder. We just happened.
Our Namesake
Our namesake is "The Leader of the Crooked Path" who was so named while leading the rest of us drunks around the Potrero War. He is not a Discordian nor is he even a member of the House of the Crooked Path. In fact, he probably has no idea how far this has gone. That's ok since we can't remember his birth name anyways, though I think it may have been Chad.
Our Chaplin
Yohan the Lost is our current Chaplin. Of the 5 Erisian Affirmations he wrote to become a POEE Chaplin, only one still known to exit. It is hidden under a rock at a Park-and-Ride, where it will stay until it becomes one with the earth.
Our Guiding Philosophy
"Always Forward, Never Straight"
Progress, for better or worse, is the opposite of stagnation. Thus, we are always moving forward, from Order to Discord to Chaos. Such a linear thought may lead to a form of mobile stagnation (or an ambush), so we never go Straight either.
I, Yohan, invented this saying long before I knew about Eris. I used to describe my wanderings which took me to many strange, out-of-the-way places to the people I dragged along behind me. Others members of my Cabal also claim to have invented this saying in their youth, but I control the web site.
About Straight
For some reason, people think that Gay is the opposite of Straight. That is just silly. Crooked is the opposite of Straight, which we all are. If you don't believe me, call up any Mafia Godfather, who by definition isn't following the straight and narrow, and call him a "fag". I advise not doing this from your home phone.
Mandatory Meetings
The next mandatory meeting is at Noon on November 15, 2000, at the memorial to the inventor of gum on Catalina Island, CA. Failure to attend carries the usual penalties.
Followers of the Crooked Path are required to never attend a mandatory meeting by mandate of Willen The Begger. Success at attending a mandatory meeting will result in immediate ejection from the house. All ranks and privileges will be stripped and your name will be entered on the List of Eternal Shame and Punctuality.
To join the House of the Crooked Path you must attend the Potrero War in May. Willen The Begger will take care of the arrangements.
Our Music
The unofficial music of Crooked Path includes ICP, Weird Al, and anything involving the road (Convoy, Uneasy Rider, etc.). "Everything You Know is Wrong" is currently under consideration as the Official Song.